


All Guys Like Butts

by MikoAkako



Category: Glee
Genre: Blaine Friendly, Humor, Kurt/Blaine Friendship, M/M, Oblivious!Dave, Oblivious!Kurt, mentor!Blaine, mentor!Finn, secret friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 21:40:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/829177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikoAkako/pseuds/MikoAkako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diverges during NBK; set before Funeral (2x21). Finn finds out about Kurt and Dave’s friendship, and guesses at Kurt’s deeper feelings. He decides to help</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Guys Like Butts

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [misterkarofsky](http://misterkarofsky.tumblr.com/) for the Kurtofsky Exchange on tumblr.

On second thought, Kurt didn’t know why he thought asking Finn to pass the note to David was a good idea. He’d tried to get Dave’s attention, but the jock was intent on taking notes on the lecture Mr. Shue was giving and hadn’t glanced in Kurt’s direction even once. Kurt had lost interest a long time ago, doodling on his paper and thinking about the upcoming Nationals competition in New York. It was hard to think about anything else recently, although every so often thoughts of Dave would creep in and he’d find himself trying to reexamine his feelings for his former tormenter.

At one point that year he’d thought about transferring schools to get away from David Karofsky. The jock had taken an exception to him that year – slamming him into lockers, throwing slushies on him between classes, throwing him into the dumpster. None of it was new, but the intensity was enough to shake him. Thanks to advice from Blaine, a boy from Dalton who’d become one of his best friends in the months since they’d met, had advised him to stand up to Karofsky.

Kurt had been skeptical about that, worried that if he pushed Karofsky too far, the small injuries would escalate into something life threatening. He’d never expected that following the bully into the locker room after a particularly violent shove would end with the two of them skipping their next class to talk. Or that he’d discover that not only did Dave hate playing football, but that he loved math and wanted to go to school to become a cryptanalyst. The most astonishing result, however, was the revelation that Dave wasn’t as straight as he so desperately pretended to be. A few dozen apologies later, and Kurt and Dave had struck up an unlikely – and secret – friendship.

Unfortunately for Kurt, his feelings had changed in the few months they’d been corresponding by text and late night phone calls. Dave was everything he wanted in a partner – he was funny and smart and supportive. When Kurt called crying because he’d been passed over for yet another solo or the other guys in the glee club had decided not to include him on their bonding nights – things he couldn’t tell anyone else for fear of accusations of seeking attention – Dave would always say the perfect thing to boost his mood. So while Kurt found himself falling harder and faster for Dave, he had no way of knowing if the jock felt the same. Sure, there had been hints. They sent winkey faces at each other in texts. Dave had been increasingly talking about wanting to spend real time with Kurt instead of over the phone. And even the other day, Dave had stopped to ask Kurt something at his locker, shoving Azimio away when the other boy came in with some joke about catching the gay. Dave had left pretty quickly after that, but he’d smiled at Kurt when they saw each other later.

And then came the note. Normally they would just text, but Kurt’s phone had taken the brunt of a slushie attack from the hockey players and was drying out in a bowl of rice in his bedroom. Instead of just waiting until he got home, he decided to get a note to Dave to explain. He’d seen Dave texting someone, and Kurt didn’t want him to think that he was being ignored. Dave was sitting diagonally behind Finn, and Finn was beside Kurt. Perhaps if he’d handed it to Quinn, she would have been more discrete. As it was, Finn got the note and opened it, ignoring the name written on the folded paper.

If he wasn’t so embarrassed, it might have been funnier to see the confusion on Finn’s face and the way he glanced up at Kurt with a look almost akin to terror. Kurt had held his hand out for the paper, but he wasn’t fast enough. Finn turned it over, noticing the name for the first time, and then shoved it into his bag. The glance he sent Kurt was serious, and Kurt felt his stomach sinking.

Sure enough, Finn grabbed him after class, dragging him to the choir room which would be empty during lunch. Kurt stubbornly pulled away, straightening the jacket Finn had grabbed and steeling himself for what was sure to be an awkward conversation.

“Since when are you and Karofsky friends?” Finn asked, shoving the paper at Kurt. Kurt took it, folding it and putting it away before looking back at his step-brother.

“Since when is it your business who I’m friends with?” Kurt asked, avoiding the question and hoping to throw Finn off track. He loved his step-brother, but sometimes Finn was a little dim. This wasn’t one of those times.

“Dude! He made your life miserable for months. And now you’re sending him messages with a wink face in it? Is he even…you know…”

“Gay?” Kurt asked, sticking out his chin and narrowing his eyes. Finn swallowed but didn’t back down, nodding. “That’s between me and David.”

“Wait. Is he the one you talk to all night?” When Kurt didn’t say anything, Finn pressed on. “So you’ve been friends this whole time and you didn’t tell me? I thought you liked Blaine, though. Wasn’t he in your bed after Rachel’s party?”

“Blaine and I are just friends,” Kurt said. It was true that for a while he’d thought he would like to be in a relationship with Blaine, but they were better as friends and as corny as it sounded, Blaine was no Dave. “And before you ask, no, Blaine doesn’t know about Dave.”

“So you do like him, then. And he is…you know…”

Kurt huffed, annoyance at Finn written in every line of his body. “It’s not like it’s a bad word, you know. You can say it.”

At least Finn had the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry. So Karofsky is gay? And you like him?”

“He’s my friend.”

“That’s not what I mean. You like him as more than just a friend.”

“Is it that obvious?” Kurt asked, distressed. If he was being obvious and Dave hadn’t said anything, he was probably just looking for a good way to let Kurt down. Maybe Kurt wasn’t his type. Maybe he liked guys who sounded like a guy and not a little boy.

“Dude, you wrote in a winking face in your note. And you talk to him all the time. But you’re never going to get him if you act like you do.” From the way Finn was looking at him, Kurt knew something bad was going to happen. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Finn smiled. “I’ve gotta go somewhere after school. Are you going to be home around seven?”

“Of course,” Kurt said. “I have to practice my solo. Which is what you should be doing as well.”

“Rachel and I are meeting…oh shit, she’s supposed to be here in a few minutes. Just be home at seven, okay? I’m gonna catch a ride home with Puck.” With that, Finn pushed him out the door and into the hall. It was empty - most people either at their fifth hour class or in the lunch room or quad eating. Kurt shook his head as he made his way to the lunch room. He loved his step-brother, but sometimes he had no idea what he was talking about.

xxxx

As it turned out, Kurt wasn’t home until almost seven thirty. He’d been at Mercedes practicing with her and Tina and had completely lost track of time. Well, that and honestly he hadn’t expected that Finn was serious about meeting at seven. No sooner was he in the door than Finn was on him, grabbing his arm and dragging him down the hall to his bedroom where Blaine was waiting.

“Hey, Kurt,” Blaine said, glancing between Kurt and Finn. “So Finn told me you needed help convincing Dave to go out with you.”

Kurt glared sharply at Finn who looked sheepish but didn’t apologize. He turned back to Blaine, gripping the bag on his shoulder tightly. “I’m sorry you came all the way out to Lima, but Finn has no place to interfere in my personal life.”

“I’m not interfering. I just want to help.”

“That is interfering, Finn,” Kurt said. “I promised Dave I wouldn’t out him, and now two people know. How am I going to explain that to him?”

“Technically you never told me,” Finn pointed out. “And Blaine doesn’t count because they’ve never even met. Plus, we used to be friends. Just because he turned into a dick doesn’t mean I’ll tell anyone. Especially since you don’t want me to.”

“I still don’t understand why you brought Blaine into this.”

“He thought I could help,” Blaine said, looking at Finn.

“Yeah. You know. He’s gay so he knows stuff. We’re going to help you get Dave.” As little as Kurt liked to think about it, he was grateful to have such good friends. Not that he would be telling them that. He was still a little annoyed that they thought he needed the help.

“What makes you think I need help?” He asked.

“Because it’s been like six months. Obviously you’re doing something wro -” Blaine stood up, putting a hand on Finn to stop him mid-word.

“What Finn means to say is that you’re passive. If you want Dave, you’re going to have to step it up. And that’s why I’m here.” Blaine smiled, pleased with himself. He’d been going out with his boyfriend for three months, a nice guy that Kurt had met a few times. A pang of guilt accompanied the thought that he barely noticed spending less time with Blaine because he was so wrapped up in Dave.

“What do I have to do?”

Their plan, it turned out, wasn’t all that complicated. A simple wardrobe update would be first, and they all piled in to Kurt’s baby, heading to the mall before they closed at nine. Kurt didn’t admit it, but he was a little nervous what Finn and Blaine would come up with together. Blaine always looked fine in his uniform, but left to his own devices and he favored pants that were too short and bow ties. Kurt would sooner shave his head than dress like that. And Finn, god bless his little heart, looked like he got dressed in the dark sometimes.

They were walking through the store, Kurt occasionally grabbing something and asking for approval from Blaine and Finn, when Finn took a pair of skinny jeans in a size smaller than Kurt normally wore.

“Finn, while I appreciate that you think I wear that size, I’ll never fit.” He held them up, trying to figure out what Finn was thinking.

“Sure you will,” Finn said. “And it’ll show off your butt. All guys like butts and I figured gay guys would probably like them more. No way will Dave be able to resist you.” Blaine made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, but he covered it with a cough. His logic wasn’t completely unsound, but Kurt was still skeptical about if he could even get in them. He was really regretting that third cookie he’d eaten at Mercedes’ house that afternoon.

“Why don’t you go try those on and we’ll keep looking,” Blaine suggested, guiding Finn away after handing Kurt the few things he’d picked out.

The dressing rooms in the men’s department were closed, so he was forced to go to the ones in the center of the stores near the women’s department. There was only one woman meandering through the department and she smiled at him as he made his way to the rooms. He tried on the pants Blaine had given him first, not bothering to keep them on when he realized they stopped above his ankles. The skinny jeans were mocking him, and he sucked his stomach in and began the fight to get them on.

Finn had been right when he thought they would highlight his butt, he thought as he looked at himself in the mirror outside the dressing rooms. He lifted up his shirt, prodding the roll of fat that peeked over the edge and sighing. It would take him hours of exercise to get rid of that.

“Hey, Kurt.” Kurt didn’t need to turn around to know who it was talking to him and he jumped, pulling his shirt down and facing Dave.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, taking a step back towards the dressing room.

“I drove my mom,” he indicated the woman currently looking through the sales rack. “Listen, did I do something? You didn’t answer any of my texts today…”

“My phone is dead. It had an unfortunate run in with some slushie. I put it in rice but it looks like I’m going to need to replace it. I tried to get you a note today.” Dave looked visibly relieved, a smile taking over the look of worry.

“Need me to beat anyone up?” He asked. Kurt had received the texts enough or heard it over the phone, but he’d never actually seen Dave when he was offering his protection and his heart flipped even as he laughed.

“I thought you were peaceful now?” Kurt returned. “Anyway, it’s better to just ignore them. They only have power when they think they get to you.”

Dave opened his mouth to say something and shut it, expression darkening momentarily as he looked at something behind Kurt. He shook his head and the darkness cleared. His smile was more rueful when he met Kurt’s eyes.

“I guess you should get back to your boyfriend,” he said, motioning to the person he must have seen. “I’ll see you around.”

Before Kurt could protest, Dave was walking away and Blaine was beside him. “Was that him?” Kurt nodded. “Okay, I can’t say I see the appeal, but I’ve never liked jocks. Did he have to go?”

“He thinks we’re dating,” Kurt said, miserable as he turned back to the dressing room where he could change back into his own clothes.

“Us?” Blaine laughed and Kurt felt a little hurt. “Sorry, but that would kind of be like me dating Wes or you dating Finn. Did you tell him that?”

“It’s pretty obvious he’s not interested. I have no desire to make a fool out of myself.” Kurt shut the door and Blaine took the hint and stopped talking. Getting out of the jeans was easier than getting into them, but it still took him a few minutes to peel them from his body. Once off, he pulled on his own pants and the sweater he’d worn that day, buttoning it up and then going through the motions of hanging all the clothes he had tried on.

“David?” Sure enough, Dave was there when he opened the door. He caught sight of Blaine who gave him a wave and a thumbs up before he was looking at Dave again.

“Why did you let me think you were going out with Blaine?” Dave asked, automatically reaching out to take the clothes from Kurt, hanging them on the rack.

“I didn’t know you thought that,” Kurt said. “Not until just now. Why does it matter?”

“It…It just does, okay?” Dave said defensively. “I…shit, Kurt. You know I like you. I mean, I’ve liked you for a while. It’s why I was so awful to you. And then when we started talking. I thought that would be enough.” Kurt was just looking at him, trying to read between the lines without getting his hopes up. He’d never known Dave to talk so fast or so ineloquently. 

“I’m not ready to come out, and I know you don’t want to be with someone who’s in the closet but I was hoping. I mean, fuck. Will you go out with me?”

It was nothing like his day dreams where Dave would approach him in the hall at school and literally sweep him off his feet. And the words weren’t as moving as Kurt had imagined, but his own smile felt half mad and his own words fled.

“Like on a real date?” He asked.

“Y…yeah. I mean, maybe just at my house. But I can cook for you and we can watch a movie. I know it’s not great, and I promise I’ll work on it and one day we can go out for real…” He looked so guilty that Kurt decided to put him out of his misery.

“I’d love to go out with you,” he said. “But if you expect me to fit into those jeans, I hope you’re good at making salads.”

“Really? You don’t have to wear those, you know. You look good in anything,” he added with a smile. Kurt’s heart skipped a beat again, and he couldn’t help but feel so incredibly pleased that he was the one who had Dave so happy. Before they could say anything else, Dave’s mom called for him and he left after one last, lingering goodbye.

No sooner was Dave out of sight than Finn and Blaine were back. Finn, for his part, looked like child that had gotten into the cookies. “See? I told you all guys like butts.”

“Sure, Finn,” Kurt said, grabbing the pants as he walked towards the register. “I guess you were right.”


End file.
